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BITEblog vs. Horrible Mornings - by RILWAN K

BITEblog vs. Horrible Mornings - by RILWAN K

Posted by Wrong Number Films at 10:38 PM on April 22, 2008
You want to know what bites? Waking up in the morning screaming obscenities at your TV monitor. Why does this suck? Because it's hard trying to keep any kind of sanity, when you have to wake in the morning listening to the drivel that comes on this show (I feel it's a nuisance of show, almost to like a satanic degree) called the Morning Show with Mike and Juliet. The show sucks so bad, it ruins every morning. I literally can not even leave my TV on FOX watching M*A*S*H* at late because I am afraid of waking in the morning with Mike Jerrick and Juliet Huddy ruining my morning.

They dub the show a "Morning Talk with Late Night Attitude." I am here going to debunk this claim. Let's examine the typical Late Night Talk show. They are described as adult orientated, possibly towards a college-aged audience, and the usually feature some form of comedy (in other words they have to be funny). The Mike and Juliet show on the other hand barely surpasses PG-13 rated issues. I don't believe they even target a young adult crowd and the show simply is not funny, if it is at all trying to be.

I mean holy fuck! I hate this show! And, I am not going to excuse my French. The show has two goons of hosts, shitty stories, and even worse, played out sentiments and backwards opinions. The show sucks, simply, it sucks.

I personally feel that the show only could've stayed on TV thus far due to the super-wealth of News Corp. Then again the show is located on a good TV block (talk about timing). It's in the morning, when everyone's TV is one, and there is nothing else to watch. This crap runs at 9 o'clock on practically every TV in a Deli or waiting area in the country.

Let's talk about the hosts. Mike Jerrick is simply a dumb looking old fart. His overly botoxed face has this permanent, stupid look on his face. He's simply not a face for TV, and not a face I would want to see in the morning. It's amazing how he's single, older than my dad, and still showcases his sexuality like his aging body serves as some kind of chick magnet. (You're 30 years late pal.) Not only does he look dumb, the way he fumbles over his words and never has anything useful to say. And Juliet Huddy? She is the single, blond, 30-something year old that FOX suggests will grab attention from a lusty younger male audience and at the same time hold  on to some female viewers who are attract to her by her stereotypically feminine views. FOX basically casted a meathead and a generic foxy woman, way to relate with a wide audience.

They never stop. They have shitty stories that ask stupid questions like "The man who bared a baby, how do you feel?" Or, "are school teens becoming more violent? High school girls out of control." "Are you Flex-sex, 'cause I'm not?" WTF! How dumb are these questions. I start my morning screaming obscenities and exclamations at the tube. I can't handle such stupid questions in the morning - I find myself cringing and shouting "It's too early for this shit!" Seriously, how could you answer these? "I don't know," "maybe,"  and "what's flex-sex?"

Nonetheless, these guys tend to foward their Pro-News Corp views; they blame video games for every ounce of violence that occurs anywhere in society. Like seriously they must ultimately believe video games are the root of all evil. They also promote their Christian and Patriotic values. I have to be the angry atheist lying in bed saying, "Fuck off, God has nothing to do with this, keep your religion to yourself!" Well, anywho, the show serious sucks an I will recommend you never watch it!

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